01/15/17 – The Good, Bad, and Ugly of Biblical Courtship

The Song of Solomon 2:8-17 ESV
8 The voice of my beloved!Behold, he comes,leaping over the mountains,bounding over the hills. 9 My beloved is like a gazelleor a young stag.Behold, there he standsbehind our wall,gazing through the windows,looking through the lattice. 10 My beloved speaks and says to me:”Arise, my love, my beautiful one,and come away, 11 for behold, the winter is past;the rain is over and gone. 12 The flowers appear on the earth,the time of singing has come,and the voice of the turtledoveis heard in our land. 13 The fig tree ripens its figs,and the vines are in blossom;they give forth fragrance.Arise, my love, my beautiful one,and come away. 14 O my dove, in the clefts of the rock,in the crannies of the cliff,let me see your face,let me hear your voice,for your voice is sweet,and your face is lovely. 15 Catch the foxes for us,the little foxesthat spoil the vineyards,for our vineyards are in blossom.” 16 My beloved is mine, and I am his;he grazes among the lilies. 17 Until the day breathesand the shadows flee,turn, my beloved, be like a gazelleor a young stag on cleft mountains.

The Song of Solomon 3:1-5 ESV
1 On my bed by nightI sought him whom my soul loves;I sought him, but found him not. 2 I will rise now and go about the city,in the streets and in the squares;I will seek him whom my soul loves.I sought him, but found him not. 3 The watchmen found meas they went about in the city.”Have you seen him whom my soul loves?” 4 Scarcely had I passed themwhen I found him whom my soul loves.I held him, and would not let him gountil I had brought him into my mother’s house,and into the chamber of her who conceived me. 5 I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem,by the gazelles or the does of the field,that you not stir up or awaken love until it pleases.

I.THE CHANGES OF COURTSHIP
A.Courtship changes your relationship from “me” to “we”.
B.Courtship changes the trajectory of your relationship by aiming it at marriage.

II.THE CONVERSATION OF COURTSHIP
A.Courtship means a deeper level of communication.
B.You get real in courtship because if you don’t resentment will be the result.
C.You begin to imagine and talk about your future together.
D.You discuss your crazy, your past, and your hopes for the future.
E.Because of what we discuss, courtship allows us to practice giving and receiving grace.

III.THE CONFLICTS OF COURTSHIP
A.It is pivotal we learn to resolve conflict in courtship and get help in learning to do so if we need it.
B.Courtship is a time to learn to resolve conflict with family as well.

IV.COURTSHIP AND SEX
A.Your sexual desire for one another will only grow the longer you court.
B.True love does not just wait. It pursues what God says is good.

NEXT STEPS
1.Jesus already knows you and loves the good, bad, and ugly of who you are.
2.Your past or present sin is not more powerful then the cross.