02/12/17 – Let’s Get Ready to Rumble: What to do When The Honeymoon’s Over

The Song of Solomon 5:2-16 ESV
2 I slept, but my heart was awake.A sound! My beloved is knocking.”Open to me, my sister, my love,my dove, my perfect one,for my head is wet with dew,my locks with the drops of the night.” 3 I had put off my garment;how could I put it on?I had bathed my feet;how could I soil them? 4 My beloved put his hand to the latch,and my heart was thrilled within me. 5 I arose to open to my beloved,and my hands dripped with myrrh,my fingers with liquid myrrh,on the handles of the bolt. 6 I opened to my beloved,but my beloved had turned and gone.My soul failed me when he spoke.I sought him, but found him not;I called him, but he gave no answer. 7 The watchmen found meas they went about in the city;they beat me, they bruised me,they took away my veil,those watchmen of the walls. 8 I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem,if you find my beloved,that you tell himI am sick with love. 9 What is your beloved more than another beloved,O most beautiful among women?What is your beloved more than another beloved,that you thus adjure us? 10 My beloved is radiant and ruddy,distinguished among ten thousand. 11 His head is the finest gold;his locks are wavy,black as a raven. 12 His eyes are like dovesbeside streams of water,bathed in milk,sitting beside a full pool. 13 His cheeks are like beds of spices,mounds of sweet-smelling herbs.His lips are lilies,dripping liquid myrrh. 14 His arms are rods of gold,set with jewels.His body is polished ivory,bedecked with sapphires. 15 His legs are alabaster columns,set on bases of gold.His appearance is like Lebanon,choice as the cedars. 16 His mouth is most sweet,and he is altogether desirable.This is my beloved and this is my friend,O daughters of Jerusalem.

The Song of Solomon 6:1-3 ESV
1 Where has your beloved gone,O most beautiful among women?Where has your beloved turned,that we may seek him with you? 2 My beloved has gone down to his gardento the beds of spices,to graze in the gardensand to gather lilies. 3 I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine;he grazes among the lilies.

A.Conflict is inevitable. You will fight with somebody for the rest of your life.
B.At some point, the honeymoon always ends and when it does it is usually with a fight.
C.Almost all marital conflict comes from unmet expectations.

A.Take some time to cool off before you go off because you are ticked off.
B.One of us must track the other person down, sit them down, and walk through what went down.
C.Depend on God to change the heart of your spouse rather than using clever arguments to control them.
D.Spend as much time asking God to change your heart and the heart of your spouse as you do criticizing your spouse.
E.Don’t assume a period of silent processing means a person does not care.

A.Never seek revenge because vengeance does not belong to is not yours, but to God. (Romans 12:19, Hebrews 10:30)
B.Never bring up the past. (Isaiah 43:5, Hebrews 8:12, 1 Corinthians 13:5)
C.Never use the withholding of intimacy to gain leverage. (1 Corinthians 7:2-5)
D.Never try to win the argument with logic. Instead win the person with love.